Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
