Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
