The best revenge is premature balding
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
