i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
