ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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