finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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