Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
