I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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