I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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