apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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