I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
worst night to have a conscience
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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