Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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