So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
