Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
