I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
