OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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