Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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