I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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