Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
