As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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