his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
