Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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