Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have demons in me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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