how can u be prego again
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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