Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
