I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
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