Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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