i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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