he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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