Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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