its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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