since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
