About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
