Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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