There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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