Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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