The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
