And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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