do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
