I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
