That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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