Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
