it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize