What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
