Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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