shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
