I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
