the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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