so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
