new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
