I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
